


All that Glitters is …Green

by BlackIris



Series: Fucking February 2018 [12]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Norse Religion & Lore, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fucking February 2018, Mischief, Other, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Reader-Insert, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 11:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13657764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackIris/pseuds/BlackIris
Summary: Fucking FebruaryDay 12: Humor





	All that Glitters is …Green

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this came from. Nonny, I partially blame you (out of love of course) and I blame Loki? Yeah, let’s go with that..  
> Un-beta'd, enjoy!

14, June –   
Okay. I keep noticing weird things happening around me. And I can’t seem to come to any conclusions regarding these weird things, so after talking with Helen and Steve, I’ve decided to write everything down. Lord help me, I hope I find a pattern here. Otherwise it’s official: I’m losing my mind. 

 

15, June –   
Today, would have been wonderful. Would. Have. Been. Save for the fact that all, and I mean all, of my pens were replaced with those terrible glitter pencils from the 90’s. I mean, the sharpies, the white board markers – essential for working in the labs, might I add – every single damn fucking one was replaced by a glitter pencil. To make matters worse, those things just shed glitter. And we all know that glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. That shit is everywhere and it’s not going anywhere, anytime soon. 

Note to self. Find whoever switched out my pens and shove a glitter pencil up their ass. 

 

16, June –   
Okay, whoever did this, I need to give them a high five. Someone switched the coffee out for decaf. I hadn’t noticed as I made tea this morning. But I knew something was up when Tony was on his 5th cup and it was only 8:30am… The poor guy was dragging all day. And it was not at all amusing. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was tampered with. 

Oddly enough, all my pens are back. There is still glitter every fucking where. 

 

17, June –   
A black cat followed me around today. Like the whole day. Everywhere. It was really sweet, which was weird considering it HATED everyone else that came near it. It’d hiss and scratch at everyone, even at sweet Steve. But it took a nap on my lap while I was cleaning up the inventory lists. I couldn’t find it when I went to leave. Maybe I should check the video feeds tomorrow to see where the little fella ran off to. 

Glitter update: Now there’s glitter AND cat hair EVERYWHERE.

 

18, June –  
I don’t know what’s going on, maybe it’s allergies... but every time Tony came near me or looked at me he’d sneeze. Every time Bruce came near me or looked at me he’d start coughing. Every time a lab tech would walk by me they’d start wheezing. Is it from the cat? They weren’t doing this yesterday! Am I missing something? Am I some punch line in a joke? Do I smell? What the hell is going on? I asked Steve about it, hoping to get some sympathy. He looked at me like I was crazy... I think Tony must be behind this.

Glitter and cat hair update: Glitter is still everywhere; the cat hair has been vanquished. 

 

19, June –  
Okay. I had today off. No Tony, no labs, no weird sneezing, minimal glitter (or so I thought – more on this later.) I made myself tea, got my sketchbook, drawing pencils, and I was all situated in my favorite nook of the library of the tower. Everything was nice and peaceful. WAS. I decided to flip through my older sketches, as I hadn’t drawn anything in a while. And what do I find? Along side my drawings are green post it notes. Some giving critique, some giving praise, some asking what my thoughts were while drawing. It was sweet and weird. I still don’t recognize the handwriting; no one does. BUT. All these complicated emotions were wrecked by blind rage when I got to a green envelope that was tucked into the pages where I left off. I thought it was going to be a note or something sweet maybe, but no. The damn thing was full of glitter and just exploded everywhere when I opened it. There’s glitter in EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE. AGAIN. 

Glitter revenge: eminent.   
Loss of proper mental facilities: GLITTER

 

20, June –   
Second day off; reconnaissance.   
Steve seems to know something, doesn’t really say anything, just gives me sympathetic eyes. Tony doesn’t know a damn thing for once. Thor just giggles – this worries me the most. Nat is unreadable. I can’t find Loki – scratch that – THIS worries me the most. Everyone else is gone today. I’m no where near figuring this shit out. But green and glitter seem to be something. If only I could find Loki.

Glitter update: It’s still in my hair. And everywhere. Please send help. 

 

21, June –   
This is ridiculous. My desk is FULL of glitter, green glitter to be exact. Tony keeps sneezing – he says it’s the glitter, but I don’t believe him. The black cat is back, which I’m okay with but it’s eyes are freakishly green. And green things are starting to make me paranoid. Steve’s been avoiding me. Bucky and Thor just laugh at my frustration. I STILL CAN’T FIND LOKI. 

Glitter update: death by glitter; I will never be free of it. 

 

22, June –   
I woke up with the black cat sitting on my chest, staring at me – nearly gave me a heart attack. Today, it has a green glittery collar; the tag does not have a name. Besides the cat following me around, Tony sneezing, and glitter dispersing with my every fucking move…today was normal. Still. Cannot. Find. Loki. Where the hell is he? What did I do to him? This has to be Loki, right? Right?

Glitter update: I give up, they have accepted me as one of their own, I am one with the glitter tribe now. 

\-----

 

26, June –   
I have given up, someone is really out to get me and I can’t seem to catch them. No one shows up on the security footage Tony has of this whole place, F.R.I.D.A.Y. doesn’t have accounts of any unauthoerized person(s) coming into my rooms. And yet, everything’s being replaced by items of equal or greater value, and of glitter. My lotion is now shimmer lotion, hair ties are now sparkly, bath bombs are glitter orbs, my favorite matt black pumps are now sparkly as fuck. My cell phone case, my wallet.. It started gradually, but now almost everything is glitter-ized. Luckily this doesn’t cause too much of a problem at work. The only problem being the occasional teasing.

Glitter: is now the very air I breathe.

\-----

 

30, June – 

The cat has been with me everyday all day since that morning it woke me up. Now there’s no trace of it. There’s still been no trace of Loki, speaking of odd beings, though Thor says that he seems him daily. 

There was a large box wrapped in metallic green paper on my desk when I came back from lunch. I thought it was from Tony, trying to tease me again, but he looked as confused as I felt. The tag simply said: “Dearest (Y/N), This has been such fun. I hope you agree. You’ve brought me so much joy. It reminds me of an old saying: When it rains..” This worried me and I didn’t want to open the box, but Tony told me I had to. So, I did. And I was right to be worried. Once the lid came off, the whole lab effectively ‘rained’ green glitter. Everyone and everything was covered in a layer of green. The water supply’s gonna be fucked up after everyone trying to wash this stuff off. I almost don’t even notice anymore, it’s like a second skin to me. 

Glitter update: Arma-glitter-eddon 

 

1, July – 

Cat still gone. Glitter still everywhere. 

Finally saw Loki today on my way to the labs. You know what that smug bastard did? He told me “Green does indeed look good on you darling, just as I thought it would.” He then winked at me and walked away like that’s a normal interaction for us. He’s never spoken more than two or three words to me at a time. I know I can’t prove it, but I just hope his reign of glitter-terror is at an end.


End file.
